Tamoxifen Waddle 10.25.2012

I began radiation last week Friday. The week prior, I was going through the mapping. The week before that, I started the Tamoxifen, I think it was the 12th of October.... I noticed last week that I was having difficulty walking, thigh pain and the bottom of my feet hurt in the evenings. Weird stuff. My cousin pointed out the symptoms may be residual effects of the chemotherapy. I observed myself for the next few days and noticed the leg pains were HORRIBLE, and felt like the third week of chemo - the white cell count thing. I reasoned that there may be layered effects going on here. The chemo residual effects are a reality that my cousin pointed out and I realized the pain began with the Tamoxifen. I can feel the medication working on my ovaries and my boobs go haywire occasionally. Weird feelings or itching in the boobs, PMS in the ovaries. I haven't had a period since August. YAY! I say all that to say, I noticed there are a few women at the hospital that walk like I have been walking. I figured they must also be on Tamoxifen. We walk like we rode a horse too far, sat too long and have to convince our hips to move by swinging our legs forward. It is weird but when you see it, you know what it is. The Tamoxifen waddle. I felt better today in the leg department because I think if I were to have a period, it would have come today, the PMS period is almost over. Except my boobs are still swollen. The right one is normally swollen from the lymphedema but they are PMS swollen today. Radiation is going fine. Any problems are my fault. I accept that. :-)

Mapping for Radiation

I was scheduled for x-rays last week to get a map for the radiation application to my right breast. Apparently, even after breast reduction/reconstruction, my breasts are too large, so I must lay face down on the exam table and my breast hangs down through a break in the table. Too large? Whatever. Anyway, the first day, everything was good and I went home. I went back three more times because the first application was not sufficient and the next two were not. Yesterday, I went for a fourth mapping session. I thought it was the radiation visit. I fell asleep in the machine. I was awakened an hour later and told that we could not continue, we were almost there but there was a back up of patients awaiting radiology. I was just having more x-rays. I go back Thursday to do more mapping. I haven't been radiated yet and that seems to be fine with me. It is hard work to lay on a table for an hour and not move a muscle. Falling asleep was a good idea I thought, but apparently your body settles............ Huh? Settling means moving. You cannot move. I was just trying to be helpful. One radiologist technician pointed out to me that the issues were not mine but their machines. He made me feel better. In a previous meeting with my Dr., I told him I would gladly take a sedative if that would help me be still. The Dr. said NO! The issue is that the necessary angle to radiate the spot is difficult to reach without causing lung tissue damage. My thinking is that I am not using these things (boobs) for anything but to hold on my bra, they could take them off if that would help? My lymphedema hurts, maybe the swelling is in the way? No clue. I will keep you posted. I wanted to drill down to the specifics of the cotton mouthed, arrogant, alcoholic tech but I won't. I still have to get mapped and radiated by the team. After it is done, I might rant about it. More as it happens.

Radiation

Today is the last day of week three after chemo. I had my last injection. Week three is when the platelettes are depleted. Germs and all that become an issue. I am in the clear now. My bones hurt but labs in November should show normal counts. I gained weight, three pounds since last weeks visit. It has to be the heat, not the fact that I had ice cream for dinner or spaghetti at 1 a.m. noooooo. Heat swelling no doubt. It was 102 in the car at 12:30. Anyway, went to Radiologist today. Go back tomorrow for cat scan of right boob for radiation mapping. Go back Monday for x-ray of ct scan results area to plan zap location for radiation. Start six and a half weeks of radiation, every day for half an hour. Not on weekends. I am sleepy just thinking about it all. Life is good. Can't wait to be done with all this and get back to work. My hair looks like a birds nest fell on my head. Feathery gray, blond and brown. Bald but have these sprigs of hair sticking up in different colors. Last night it fell out again. Weird.